Dating - Part 2
So I recently received the following comment on my dating post:
"... Your comments are valid, but remember, dating is not a prelude becoming engaged, it's an opportunity to see what experiencing another person teaches you. Is there chemistry? Did you learn something? Can you tell the jerks from the nicer guys? Experience in life is always the main teacher. The more you experience the more you learn. Being with a guy is not a prelude to marriage, it's a prelude to learning about people and life."
In my experience, this seems to be what pretty much the rest of the world thinks about dating. This message is found in all parts of society, through television, magazines, movies, peers, etc. Little girls grow up with this message, for they see it on the covers of the magazines as they walk through the grocery store. Phrases like "Have You Dated Enough Men to Know if He's The One?" and "Do You Have The Experience He Wants (And Needs)?" or "Marriage Will Just Tie You Down (Don't Waste The Best Years Of Your Life!)" It's expected and accepted to think like this. The countless number of conversations I've had with people about this subject have proven this to me.
Here are my thoughts: why can't all of this be accomplished through friendship? If I'm friends with a boy and we fall in love, then of course there's chemistry. Why do I have to date them in order to have chemistry? Plus, without love being a factor, I can tell who's a jerk and who's a nice guy. So many people I know have dated complete jerks and have not been able to see these guys for who they really were until they had broken up. By being just friends, I can look objectively at a person and not have to go through the whole broken heart thing.
And if dating isn't a prelude to becoming engaged, then what is? Why can't I experience this person while being friends with them? I think that'd be a better way to "experience" them because you aren't in love with them and can figure out if they have a good quality personality. One can learn so much through friendship. I know that I have personally learned so much from my male bestfriend. Yet we aren't dating. What's more, why do I need experience? This is the whole "manshopping" concept I wrote about last time.
Manshopping: the act of dating many men over a period of years, with the base goal being to become experienced at dating.
Pardon, but why should I be good at dating? I'm going to be married for the rest of my life, not dating people. However, I should be experienced at making and retaining friends because that's a lifelong process. So why not practice that?
"... Your comments are valid, but remember, dating is not a prelude becoming engaged, it's an opportunity to see what experiencing another person teaches you. Is there chemistry? Did you learn something? Can you tell the jerks from the nicer guys? Experience in life is always the main teacher. The more you experience the more you learn. Being with a guy is not a prelude to marriage, it's a prelude to learning about people and life."
In my experience, this seems to be what pretty much the rest of the world thinks about dating. This message is found in all parts of society, through television, magazines, movies, peers, etc. Little girls grow up with this message, for they see it on the covers of the magazines as they walk through the grocery store. Phrases like "Have You Dated Enough Men to Know if He's The One?" and "Do You Have The Experience He Wants (And Needs)?" or "Marriage Will Just Tie You Down (Don't Waste The Best Years Of Your Life!)" It's expected and accepted to think like this. The countless number of conversations I've had with people about this subject have proven this to me.
Here are my thoughts: why can't all of this be accomplished through friendship? If I'm friends with a boy and we fall in love, then of course there's chemistry. Why do I have to date them in order to have chemistry? Plus, without love being a factor, I can tell who's a jerk and who's a nice guy. So many people I know have dated complete jerks and have not been able to see these guys for who they really were until they had broken up. By being just friends, I can look objectively at a person and not have to go through the whole broken heart thing.
And if dating isn't a prelude to becoming engaged, then what is? Why can't I experience this person while being friends with them? I think that'd be a better way to "experience" them because you aren't in love with them and can figure out if they have a good quality personality. One can learn so much through friendship. I know that I have personally learned so much from my male bestfriend. Yet we aren't dating. What's more, why do I need experience? This is the whole "manshopping" concept I wrote about last time.
Manshopping: the act of dating many men over a period of years, with the base goal being to become experienced at dating.
Pardon, but why should I be good at dating? I'm going to be married for the rest of my life, not dating people. However, I should be experienced at making and retaining friends because that's a lifelong process. So why not practice that?
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